=goldenSalamander

Sandi

Three Lives

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 17, 2008, 6:20 AM

.....Time in a Bottle.......

I have been feeling old this past year or so, and like my life is nearly over. That can happen when you reach and pass the 50 mark, I reckon.

But I remember when my mother was 50 (and seemed so young)............and that was a 'lifetime' ago.

She hit 50 I when I was 22, so that got me thinking. The time from then to now seems like a lifetime ago. I've raised kids in that time. So if I can do so much in a quarter of a century.......It got me to thinking. I've lived two lifetimes already. 1) Was 'Growing Up' and that took from 0-25. (I got married when I was 25, so I'm going to call that 'mostly grown up', even if I did realize I was 'more' grown up when I reached 28 and looked back

) 2) Was 'Marriage and Kids' from 25-50?... 53?and is nearly complete. First kid will move out to a new apartment and job next month. Gee. And the second for all intents and purposes next summer, when she's off to do her Master's. So I'm in a transition period.

Looking back it does seem I've lived a whole entire separate life since Mother turned 50, and she has now passed the 81 mark. From the time she was my age to now I've lived a whole life of marriage and motherhood.......if I live another 30 years............what will I see and what will I do. How will my 3rd life be marked and called? Of course I could only get another 10 or 20. We have no guarantees of living to old age, or to have good health and be mobile if we do live so long. I could only have another 5 left to live, or .....1. We don't know. And that's scarey. But we don't know the future. I come from a line of '80 and 90-something'-ers. So far as I know I have a whole other long life to launch out on, and here I go. I hope I get a long run. I'm going to plan on it.

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~Sindah

Apr 17, 2008, 6:34:39 AM

Wow, when you put it that way!! My mother turned 50 when I was 16, but she never spoke about her age until she retired when my father was ill... But it all seems like a lifetime ago! It's all very weird, when you really think about it!

I guess life is just like that... Things grow and move on... An endless cycle... *sigh*

*CozmicDreamer

Apr 17, 2008, 6:38:13 AM

I think that your third life should be solely for yourself. Do all those things you dream't about, And enjoy life to the fullest. Sit down, and have tea with your mother, and ask her about what she has done, and accomplished. I'm sure she will have useful insight on what the future holds.

--
Look to the Sky...For my Head is in the Clouds.
I now have a blog! [link]

~SpottedPegasus

Apr 17, 2008, 11:47:39 AM

My mom turned 50 when I was either 15 or 16. She is.... well over 50 now... lets just say I'm 23 going on 24. I have to say I've never even thought of her being old. Same with My greandmoher, who has now passed, but I've never really noticed age differences in my family. I guess you could say that we are steady that way, to be honest. My mom and I still try to live out our animal related dreams with horses, My older cousin has her own kids but she has always been the one to take care of younger ones, my younger cousin has always been going on to the sarcastic eye rolling teen who isn't afraid to tell someone what she things, even when she was 3.

I don't know where I was going with that totally but yea. You're still you, just at different times of being you. Something that I've thought about before but never put into words.

I have to say I worry about some things that come with getting older, but I sort of look forward to it as well. i guess you could say that I'm trying to get into the second story of my life right now. I'm engaged and am starting to find my feet with my fiance so that we can continue.

~AngelicPhantom

Apr 17, 2008, 12:13:33 PM

you're amazing

you have such interesting insights.

--
realise. real eyes. real lies.

'how can i want to die when i never wanted to live in the first place'.

crazy is in the mind of the beholder. (copyrighted to me!!! i made up that quote!!!!

*pixelwitch

Apr 17, 2008, 6:46:09 PM

I tend to think of it as 'chapters' in my life. You know I think I have been thinking a lot along the same lines as you lately. I recently (last year) lost a boss who was a good 8 years younger than me to colon cancer. A dear friend of mine is currently winning her battle with breast cancer. I guess I have been feeling my mortality as well. My son is only 6 ( I had trouble having children, I had him at 41), but I will be having a complete hysterectomy in about 3 weeks...so the chapter of child-bearing in my life is over. My Mom is still around, she is 76. I am seeing her slow down for the first time ever. Its a time full of changes....makes you value the time you have.

and the family and friends you share it with!

---------------------
I dream my paintings, then I paint my dreams. ~Vincent van Gogh

=goldenSalamander

Apr 18, 2008, 5:09:15 AM

Indeed it does. My sister just had a mastectomy, her 2nd in 15 years, and mother is having a biopsy. I pray all goes well with your surgery. Chapters, or maybe books in a series, but you definitely begin to feel your mortality.

--
Create today........
Sandi

=goldenSalamander

Apr 18, 2008, 5:09:34 AM

Hehe, my hubby always says I'm strange.

--
Create today........
Sandi

=goldenSalamander

Apr 18, 2008, 5:13:31 AM

Yes, we are us, throughout the changes, evolving with time and experience. Once you get to a certain age, the physical changes are very insignificant and you don't seem to age much. Then it changes some and settles again for a few more years, I think. Try to make sure you don't get lost, along the way, and not do the things that are important to you. That way you'll be happy to go on to each new stage as it comes to you.

--
Create today........
Sandi

=goldenSalamander

Apr 18, 2008, 5:15:46 AM

Thanks. That's a nice idea, and I do 'intend' to concentrate on my art in the next few years. However, can't make it all about me. I do owe consideration to other people in my life and their feelings and needs, so it has to be a compromise between my responsibility to others and my responsibility to myself.

--
Create today........
Sandi

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Curse of the Red Bull

I just wanted to call your attention to Curse of the Red Bull [link]
It's a submission by author Rich Knoll, here at deviant, about a character from one of his books and Amalthea from The Last Unicorn. It's a short story, presented here complete. It's a little long for a single entry, but I recommend you read it. It's an interesting addition to The Last Unicorn saga and introduces you to Shahly, a brave new character in the fantasy world. Enjoy.