Ode to the Electric LeafBlower

Ode to the Electric Leaf Blower

Oh, what joy,
what pleasure divine
sleek black body,
slender and light.
Mine, all mine.
Held with one hand,
light as a kite,
to brandish on high.

Oh, how they did laugh,
those 2 dozen trees,
to see the new fools
moving in under
yon, nearby roof.

They laughed and mocked
their new human slaves.
All summer long
we enjoyed their shade
and attended with pleasure
their pleasant conversance with breeze.

They think it their right,
their privileged due
to have new bondsmen
answering their call
cleaning up done, right on cue.

Like younglings half grown
they party each fall
way into the night,
then fall into bed
leaving their sweaters
and coats tossed about
to lie where they land
without any care.

"No more!" I exclaim!
shin deep in the mess.
"Think you can toss your sweaters
all over the place,
like errant teen girls
tired of trying them on?
Think you can make me
your slave all the day long?
No more! You spoiled brats!
I've got you now!"

"Think you can toss
your red scarves in
my bushes to tangle and
stuff your underwear in
cinder block holes or
pile dusty socks over
that pile of red bricks, you foes?
I give you fair warning
ELB has moved into town."


Electric Leaf Blower
is this black beauty's name,
sleek and light,
and deftly agile
ELB's packed with muscle.
Taming bad trees is her only game.

On again, on again, on again more,
leaves fly on the right
and on the left
and roll steadily onward
and onward on to the road.
Yanked from each cubby hole
pulled from each bush
ELB drives them furiously
before her onslaught.

The bushes look shellshocked
like hurricane leavings,
the grass combed flat.
Flower beds have been
stripped naked bare.
But "I don't care!"
I cackle with glee.
"The leaves are all gone
my pretties! We rule the day.
I and my wonderful
darling, ELB!
I'm free, I'm free,
you'll not rule me
not as long as I've got ELB!"